


Lads

by DancesWithSeatbelts



Series: Fairy Tail Week [3]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: F/M, Friendship, anecdotes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-19
Updated: 2015-01-19
Packaged: 2018-03-08 05:47:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3197687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DancesWithSeatbelts/pseuds/DancesWithSeatbelts





	Lads

Rated: T - English - Humor/General - Reviews: 3 - Published: 01-17-15 - Updated: 01-19-15 id:10978868 

 

All of the girls seated around the Strauss family room had a drink either in hand or within reach. Mira set down a tray of snacks and addressed Lucy, "It's your turn to give us a 'lads will be lads' story. What's the silliest thing Natsu has done, lately?"

Lucy squirmed in her seat and took a large gulp of her drink. She looked into the half empty glass like it might issue her a permission slip to avoid sharing. "I thought it was Bisca's turn next."

"I might as well tell a story sooner than later, I have a date with my family tonight." Bisca leaned back in her over-stuffed chair and began to tap her chin. A wide smile swept over her face and she giggled. "I trust Alzack with anything and everything, but he cannot follow a recipe worth a plugged nickel. It was his turn to cook supper; we had extra apples and he said he'd make applesauce, so he asked me what goes into it."

Bisca looked at each of the girls listening intently, "I told him; chop up the apples, add a splash of lemon juice and a little bit of water. All you have to do is cook it over low heat until it softens and stir it once in a while. I go back to playing with Asuka and he calls us when he's ready to serve dinner. It was a little browner than I thought it should be, but I shovel some on a spoon and put it in my mouth. Well, I taste it and the spoon goes right back in and I scoop it right back out and dump it on my plate. It was musty. I didn't know food could be murdered."

Both Levy and Lisanna snickered, smug because the men in their lives understood cooking. Lucy smiled and nodded, still worrying over which tale to share. Erza was quiet and contemplative, perhaps saying a prayer for any innocent strawberries unlucky enough to be prepared by Alzack. The rest of the ladies tittered, imagining how sour and unpleasant it must have tasted.

"Girls, he ate every last bit of the portion he gave himself. It turns out he decided to spice things up and used apple cider vinegar, just because it had 'apple' in it. And it's somehow my fault I have it in the kitchen. It's not like I had it on the countertop, it was on a top shelf with all my pickling spices. And now I'm not sure if I'm as good a cook as I think I am, or if his taste buds have been dead this whole time."

Erza set down her plate with a thump. "I will share a humorous anecdote." She laced her fingers together and set them in her lap. "I was walking in the forest with...a friend. My companion plucked a wildflower and inhaled its fragrance before handing it to me. I did not tell... my friend that there was pollen on their nose, and allowed them to traipse about all day wearing it."

Kinana giggled, "Jellal must've looked so cute!"

Erza stammered, "I-I d-didn't say it was Jellal!"

"Erza is not fooling anyone! Juvia will share a story now!" The water mage clapped her hands and beamed, "Gray-sama rubs Juvia's feet every night!"

"That's sweet, but it's not really a 'lads will be lads' story." Evergreen crossed her arms and frowned. "It is his duty as your husband to rub your pregnant ankles. It's his fault." She squinted her eyes and gazed at the unmarried girls, using her pointer finger to push her glasses up higher. "You don't know how childish a certain man sounds, decrying everything to be 'manly' to all and sundry."

Ever took a sip of her wine and continued her anecdote. "I can never go back to the store nearest our house." She preened as all the women leaned forward, listening intently. "We were shopping for some necessities and we were in line to pay. I'd forgotten tampons and sent him to pick up a package." Ever paused, smug in the knowledge she had her audience in the palm of her hand. "He bellows out 'which brand do you want', I tell him and he's all 'tampons are man!'"

Cana snorted, only narrowly avoiding spitting out a precious mouthful of beer. "Sounds like you were the only one embarrassed."

Looking a little confused, Ever cocked her head to the side, "Aren't 'lads will be lads' stories meant to show how foolish men can be?"

"Feminine products are a fact of life, and you're really lucky Elfman isn't ashamed to carry them to you." Mira cackled, "Of course, little brother Elf has had many years of getting used to that sort of thing. Usually men are pretty delicate when it comes to feminine products - but not as squeamish as a certain Lightning Dragon Slayer over his secret fear."

Ever shrugged, "I've been a part of the Raijinshuu for a long time and Laxus has never behaved any inch less the leader. He can do anything."

The demon take-over mage arched a delicate brow. "Really? Do you know who kills the vermin in this house? Two guesses, and it's not Laxus."

"Really?" Levy giggled louder than all the other women. "I have a good one to share about Gajeel! On our first date, he took me canoeing. I had never been and he bragged how good he was and he'd given others lessons. So he's in the front and I'm at the back. We paddle across the lake and then follow the shoreline. I'm watching the romantic scenery and busy obeying his orders, 'sit still', 'lean to the left', 'your other left'. I don't notice the canoe filling up with water until it gets up higher on my shoes. He's facing forward and can't see what's behind him. Before I can use a 'solid script plug' the damn thing has sunk and I'm up to my neck in swampy water, my feet up to my ankles in soft mud. I abandon everything to get out of the water."

Levy rolled her eyes, "He's pushing the canoe full of water to the shore and he doesn't realize once if he tips it over and empties it, it will be waaaaay easier to manoeuvre. I felt bad after though, I got grossed out by the sucking mud - I practically jumped out of the water and didn't help him."

Laki patted the petite girl on her shoulder, "Don't worry about that, most likely you were both anxious with first date jitters."

"I never thought of it that way - thanks." Levy grinned, "We've had lots of better dates since then."

"It would be hard not to!" Cana laughed until tears wet her cheeks.

"Sounds like you're next Cana." Mira smiled sweetly. "Tell us about your first encounter with Bacchus."

"You guys already know how he stole my favourite top. Wouldn't you rather hear about the first time he -" Cana broke off her anecdote, "Maybe I'll share that some other time when more of you girls are married and can understand what happens when hand-holding isn't enough."

Mira clapped her hands, "Right! Lucy, times up. One more story before Bisca has to leave."

Lucy chuckled nervously. "Um, okay. Natsu has enriched my life in so many ways, he's silly, strong, at times childish, and still my best friend. I want to share a story that shows his sterling qualities."

The blonde surveyed her audience. The other mages chorused their assent and Lucy continued. "Mira asked what's the silliest thing he's done lately - and I have a surprising answer for that. You remember a week ago we had a chilli cook-off?"

Erza nodded, "We all know this story - Natsu burned a big cauldron of chilli so badly there was half a foot of charcoal at the bottom."

Levy said, "My solid script magic hasn't been able to clean it either."

Cana added, "The smell was so sickening I almost couldn't finish my drink."

Lucy bit her lip, setting her now empty glass down. "It was my fault it burned. Natsu took the blame before I could say anything and -" A loud knocking interrupted the story. Lucy broke off from her tale as Mira excused herself to answer the door.

Natsu followed Mira into the family room and grabbed Lucy's hand. "Didja forget our plans?"

"No, but I was in the middle of telling a story."

"Hurry up and finish it, then we can go!" Natsu grinned and looked with friendly enthusiasm at the ladies of Fairy Tail.

Lucy started to finish her anecdote, "Okay, so it was really my fault the chilli burned -"

The slayer grinned even wider, "I know this one! Every body has been blaming me for that and it's kinda only half my fault."

Cana said, "Lucy was telling us it was her fault only."

"Natsu, we should get going!" Lucy started tugging the male towards the exit.

"The chilli burned because Lucy doesn't do anything half-assed."

"Really?" Levy egged Natsu on, "Tell us more."

"We've gotta go now!" Lucy pulled harder on Natsu's arm.

Cana held her cards in her hand, "Tell us or I'll read it from the cards. Natsu? Lucy? We don't care which one of you fesses up -"

"Lucy kissed me in the kitchen and my fire got a little out-of-control and -"

Lucy clapped a hand over Natsu's mouth, "We're going now, bye!"

The front door slammed shut almost an instant later and the women of the guild sat staring speechless at each other. Mira was the first to recuperate. She leapt to her feet and ran over to her book shelf, digging in the piles of small notebooks. Clutching a bright pink and yellow spiral bound notepad, Mira skipped back over to her friends. "Finally! The jackpot on this one was getting dangerously big! Now, which one of you fine ladies had last week down in the betting pool?"


End file.
